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Earliest Memory: Falling of the big spider thing in Lady Dixon Park and spliting his head open.
Previous Jobs: A Duck cleaner outer.
Sexual Orientation: Towards ducks.
Most Hated Wrestler: Rikishi cos he's a twat.
Your Typical Breakfast: Toast.
Way You'd Like To Die: Fucked off his head on some crazy drug and skydiving without a parachute.
Favourite Type of Porn: Duckling porn (kiddy porn for ducks)
Who's your least favourite member of the band and why? Adam cos he follows Osama Bin Laden.
Last shite CD you bought? Amen 'We Have Come For Your Parents'
When you were eleven, what was your favourite pastime? Wanking over ducks.
What's the sickest thing you've ever seen? His reflection.
If you had to lose a part of your body, what would it be? Bones because (and I quote ) "If you lost them you'd be like a big matress. Or a coat."
What is the best toy you've ever had? Ghostbusters Fire Station.
My reason for hating Hugo Duncan: Because he molested him when he was a kid.
Favourite breed of little wannabe metal kid: The wee Kurt Cobain ones who think he's god and that music wouldn't exist if it wasn't for him. Cos they're twats.
Would you murder a prostitute to get out of paying or would you do it just for a laugh? Just do it anyway.
Top three movie villains ever: Megatron, John Doe, Greedo (cos he's green and cool and he talks funny)
Name one good band from Australia: Rolf Harris and his wee "wooah owwah wwah" noise with the big bits of paper and stuff.
Are Clowns Scary? Yeah, terrifying.
What illnesses would you pretend to have in order to get near nurses? A blocked up urethra cos then they'd have to go down on ya to unplug it. No... that would be sore... Rabies, no that would keep them away... no fuck it. I'm too tired.